Understanding the Signs 

When it comes to health, bowel habits are often a topic people shy away from — but they’re an important window into our overall wellbeing. Our digestive system plays a vital role in how we absorb nutrients, eliminate waste, and maintain balance throughout the body. So, what does a "healthy bowel" really look like?

Many people believe that being "regular" means having a bowel movement once a day — like clockwork. But healthy bowel function isn't defined by a strict schedule. In fact, everyone’s normal can look a little different.

What Does "Being Regular" Really Mean?

In simple terms, being regular is about consistency, comfort, and ease. Most people tend to have a bowel movement once a day, but it’s perfectly healthy to go anywhere from three times a day to three times a week.

The key signs of good bowel health are (see our Bowel Motion Chart):

• Soft, well-formed stools that are easy to pass.

• A feeling of complete emptying without needing to return to the toilet soon after.

• No straining or pain when having a bowel movement.

Typically, your body signals the urge to empty the bowel around 30 minutes after eating — most noticeably after breakfast. This is part of the natural "gastrocolic reflex," where eating stimulates movement in the digestive tract. However, bowel habits vary greatly from person to person, and even day to day, depending on factors like diet, hydration, stress levels, and routine.

Good Bowel Function: Beyond Just Frequency

True bowel health isn't just about how often you go — it's also about how you feel before, during, and after.

Healthy bowel function means:

• You can delay the urge to go for a short time without discomfort or accidents.

• You can relax and pass stool within about a minute of sitting down on the toilet.

• Passing stool feels natural — not forced, strained, or painful.

• You feel satisfied and completely emptied after going.

If going to the toilet feels like a battle, or you’re regularly experiencing pain, excessive straining, or incomplete emptying, it may be a sign your bowel health needs attention.  This can become 'normal' to you... however, a word of warning I've seen too many times in my patients, is that excessive straining for many years more often than not contributes to prolapses of our inner world.

When Bowel Control Becomes a Challenge

For some people, bowel control doesn’t always behave as it should. Faecal incontinence is when you pass a bowel motion (or even gas) unexpectedly, without control.

This issue is more common than many realise — affecting about 1 in 20 people — and it doesn’t discriminate between men and women. Although the likelihood increases with age, younger people can also experience poor bowel control, often linked to other health issues, injuries, or chronic constipation.

In some cases, bowel control issues can occur alongside bladder control problems, leading to urinary incontinence. While these conditions can feel isolating, help is available, and effective management strategies can make a big difference to quality of life.

Bowel Health in Children: What’s Normal?

Just as with adults, healthy bowel habits are crucial for children. Most children achieve toilet training by around three years of age, learning to recognise when they need to go and using the toilet independently.

However, "soiling" — accidentally passing stool into underwear or in places other than the toilet — can still happen occasionally. Minor accidents now and then are normal, especially in younger children adjusting to new routines or experiences.

When to seek help:
If a child:

• Is not toilet trained by age three or four,

• Frequently soils after toilet training,

• Or regresses after having been toilet trained,

then a medical assessment is recommended to check for underlying issues, like constipation or emotional stress.

How Common Is Soiling?

Studies suggest that 1–3% of children experience ongoing soiling issues, and it’s more commonly seen in boys. Soiling can vary from minor "skid marks" on underwear to larger accidents that require more cleanup.

It’s important to approach the issue with compassion and understanding, as children are often embarrassed, confused, or unaware that it's happening.

The Hidden Cause: Constipation

In almost all cases of ongoing soiling, constipation is the root cause.

Constipation is very common in childhood — affecting up to one in four children at some point. When stool remains in the bowel for too long, it becomes dry, hard, and difficult to pass. Over time, the bowel stretches and loses sensitivity, meaning the child may no longer feel the urge to go. As a result, softer stool can leak around the hard mass, leading to soiling without the child even realising.

Signs of constipation in children may include:

• Infrequent bowel movements

• Pain when passing stool

• Large, hard, or pellet-like stool

• A distended (bloated) belly

• Avoidance of going to the toilet

Early recognition and gentle management of constipation can make a world of difference to a child’s health, comfort, and confidence.

Final Thoughts: Listening to Your Body’s Signals

Good bowel health is a vital — and often overlooked — part of feeling your best. A healthy bowel doesn’t just "go every day" — it functions with ease, regularity, and without discomfort.

By paying attention to the signs of good (and not-so-good) bowel habits in both ourselves and our children, we can catch small problems early and support our overall wellbeing in powerful ways.

Remember: your body is always communicating with you. Taking the time to listen to its rhythms — including how it eliminates waste — is a simple but profound act of self-care.

If you or a loved one is experiencing ongoing issues with bowel function, know that help is available. A healthcare professional can guide you toward gentle, effective strategies to restore balance and comfort.

Constipation can contribute to many other health issues, if you're still unclear or not sure about your bowels, Schedule a free 20 minute assessment, to have a chat.

Yours in health and happiness

Sandy B Simmons